May 1st was 7 days ago. I remember the day that started with no toilet paper and a bill I wasn’t sure I wanted to keep. The last few weeks I have struggled with getting out one blog a week as promised. They say I can’t write and keep me from it. Those words are supposed to be a testament to my lack of sleep and improper diet. The last blog ment to sound as if I was totally in coherent. I have a draft that was supposed to be only in bullets so I would sound even more in coherent. The only thing I tire of is the people. They constantly tell me when and what to eat and to eat constantly. I have heard the same echo voices talking as I write, eat and try to be the independent person I am. The dark arts. As of late its been the connections of family to the military. I wonder if they knew or have forgotten my family ties to the military as well. When I started this part of the planning at age 26 I took in consideration the split in even what is supposed to be pure good service to the people. Honest and truthful. Some server under no harm. Yet when you are on the side were it seems ALL THINGS ARE POSSIBLE, not intended to reference the Bible but power, greed and selfishness which is fueled by the ability to have control through the authority given to you, it appears through the actions of some the abuse of power to have money and control over one’s own life becomes more important then your reason to serve in the first place. That is ofcourse me being kind and saying your reason was to serve the people and not to have money for school.

As writing this I am being watched by ways only those who know will know. Also here these thoughts are not my own. That from the beginning I have been someone else. That is from my birth. They have this desire to talk me into a circle thus slaming into a wall by dizziness. This tells me they are speaking to people who see time in a one demintal state and if I elaborate on this I am calling these people stupid and if I don’t elaborate then I am also calling them stupid. The rock and a hard place. I must comply to being made to be whatever I appear to be to hold a structure I spoke of or sound like I have contradicted myself meaning I am a liar and/or crazy. Every type of intelligence that steps in further proves my point. You would have a cookie cutter world because it is what is normal for you and replicates you. You wish to squeeze the actual life out of living and give the people a replication and say you did well because you have control of them and have them living in peace. When in truth you’ve only inflated your own ego and imprisoned the people.

As usual this entry is vague and a bit broken. I hope one day to be able to get away from all of it and just talk about a book or recipe. *sigh* it is frustrating to have to write this way.

Kimberly 8:08pm 5/7/23