Stress and Avoidance
How do you handle stress when you cannot do anything other than what you are doing? When you are under other people’s scrutiny? Being stressed out is hard to begin with; being watched while you are stressed out and having people tell you how and when and what to is more stress than I want to deal with. I am fairly certain it is what helps get me where I end up in September…or August. I can hear the cheers of excitement they are the cause from here.
This last week has been dedicated to slowly moving out of last weekend. I have spent most of the time cleaning, emotionally preparing for court and trying to not put too much pressure on myself until after this next Friday.
I did run into the same company interviews this last week. One of them is one from before I left the town I used to live in and apparently, it has something to do with the person who called me being on vacation, so the rumor goes. Last time she said she was going to do it again and it was fun getting my hopes up. She mumbled that she was on vacation when the job application was created and had not returned my call because she had to get back to work. Insinuating that she had made the job ad for her vacation entertainment. From what I understand it is a part of the group that thinks it is okay and fun to occasionally harass me or people by pretending they will give a remote job in another state. Last time they even sent over the assessment. I had heard in the office I worked in at the time the assessment was made to make it look real. Last time I did not really respond the way she wanted I guess because I really found it to be fraudulent but was not sure so that is when I heard that the assessment was being made. This time I responded letting them know I had been watching my spam folder and she still has not responded. I even called and left a message. I guess she had to go back to work. Each time it has progressed a little more. I am pretty sure if they decided to do it a fifth time…well I am sure they will not because they are with the group that likes commit fraud and kill people via online dark-web web cams. So, from the look of it they are one of the groups involved and hovering for and pushing for suicide to happen. Like running out the time while I look for a job. Fill my schedule with fake interviews till I run out of money and supposedly call my bluff. This is the group that has more than one person who shows psychopathic tendencies. They enjoy the fact I know they are doing it and that they can talk about it in the hat/screen/accessory about the plan of how it will happen and who will pick up my stuff afterwards. Of course, here in the physical it is all under the pretense that they are calling my bluff and of course would act surprised if they do happen to get caught. How ever since I really have cut out my friends and family, I do not know anyone will miss me. Even now I just heard the person outside say something about being good while one in the hat/screen/accessory said that is right, that is what we do.
The one who says they will make a whore of me yet is of course the one I hear giving the play by play in preparation for when I am supposed to chicken out if the time comes, I am to do what they want.
Today was quiet, but I still heard the voices and occasionally heard them trying to get my attention. They also still mock and taunt. Today is one of those days I feel sorry for one they are in existence harming not just me but other and two that the ones who are not psychotic are in the position they are in. They are just trying to survive, and I would not doubt if they too have been conditioned and told how to feel. They may not even be experiencing their own emotions and have conflict while in this situation. And with that last sentence the involuntary planted trigger done against my will said they wanted crazy in my blog this weekend. Force which should be prosecuted to the full extent of the law.
And with that they of course like to let go of the memory they took from me using the dark arts and science. Apparently, I applied for the first time for the job I mentioned earlier while I was on vacation. They like to mess with my timeline of events and since they are on my abuser’s side they are helping him by saying I could not have been right about my childhood. I have had normal memory loss or forgetting by stress and things like just time. I have also experienced deliberately a memory change and being held just so I would know the difference between the two. It is annoying and frustrating when people do it and try to use it against me. They are a part of the group who moves before they know who they are messing with. They still have not figured out that they are also being recorded and it plays back.
Also, the same call I get after my stepfather calls, and I do not respond I received the other day. He had the audacity to try and say in the voice mail he was returning my call. As I type that the hat/screen/accessory says that it was a set up and they had someone tell them that I had called, and they needed to call back and how that statement was a lie. Children do this stuff. They do not know how to deal in the physical world, I guess. I really want them out of my life, and they do not seem to care about anything but revenge on someone who really did not do anything wrong. I have made these statements before in my blog I had started years ago, and it got deleted. They do not like I talk directly about it or them. They are not a reference to the people who like to watch people suffer and struggle until they have been forced to commit suicide by their hand.
This week I have been here and there (the last time the remote job came up for that same company) and 2006, it has been an exhausting week.
Less than a month and it will be another year older for me. Crazy. I remember back in 2006 when they were taking bets on when I would kill myself or leave or whatever they had said would happen. At one point I had forgotten but apparently, they still have it somewhere, but I am not sure just something I heard.
It is funny how being born into this, I can talk all day about how my life ends, and no one cares. People who do, who truly are caring still have no care for me other than to say I am dramatic, or a sad story. I cannot blame them, no one who knows wants to mess with people who deal with the true dark arts.
On to another week and hopefully I will be able to get outside of this mess and find a job, be able to move on with my life and lose this hat/screen/accessory. I doubt the hat/screen/accessory with go away since one reason it is here is to allow nosy people listen to what I am doing and saying. Since I will not stop writing until they do leave, which if they were to leave, they would not know if I were doing it or not. I will not stop writing so they will not stop stalking and harassing me, so I will not stop talking about what is happening to me.
Stress. I was avoiding my emotions. I am angry and tired of people who need to stay out of my family’s personal life. You are not involved in less you make yourself involved. People who think I would run home to my abusive parents do not know about abusive families or are hiding that they are in one also.
theartoflife.space 
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