The Repeat, Harassment and Falling Shoe

Watched Doll House this week (Mavx Productions, Inc 2022) and it was rather good. I cried. I do wonder sometimes how closely foreign films are in translation. Out of the four or so movies I watched in the last two weeks it was the second one I thought I should mention. There was a third, but I still haven’t been able to watch it without being distracted and not able to pay close attention. Another of the things that has happened since they decided I was their doll, and they would take over my life. See, I am not someone who watches a movie more than once. I am also not someone who puts a movie on for the first time and then leaves the room. The last twenty years or so I have had to watch some films five time before I get to see it and pay close attention. Full extent of the law. Not because of the movies, but because it is interfering in my life as a whole.

It has been a long week. A lot done but still never seems enough. There is always something to do and just a second of time clearing my head and the hat/screen/accessory gets louder and talking about how I need something to do. I find it funny that the excuse is to teach me a lesson. The blowing out of proportions is ridiculous. Not only is it exaggerated and based on lies, but it also crosses lines of respect I would never dare cross.

Drawn into sleep after sleep denervation, blamed on my busy schedule as well but truthfully if I weren’t keeping busy then I would still be kept awake in another way. Murders and hunters, their own words said in front of me and witness. Being a part of the set up, I am sure. I wouldn’t know for sure since I was actually working and earning my daily pay. I did say it.

Of course, when one group of people leaves, another group comes in. Each group thinking when they leave, I am alone. That they are the only ones ‘playing’ with me. Yes, ‘playing’ with me and because I am someone who likes being told what to do – LIES – someone definitely lied to them, they are helping me and keeping me from committing suicide. Here I would like to add the deliberate context that keeps getting condensed. See, when working on say an excel worksheet I would rather you tell me what you want and how you want it to look then tell me you just want one and then it not be what you were visualizing in your own head. They take that and apply it to my personal life and assume I like being told what to do and being dominated. When explained, and it has been they have chosen to play stupid like they don’t know there is a difference. Some assume, as I stated, since they are the only ones that they must be the ones about which I am talking.

The truth they can’t handle is that they are nosey. They want to stick around to see who I am talking about. Some knew who and started working together. The funny thing is I went to work, went to church, and played computer games in my spare time. I had to get off of messenger because of the harassment, first blocking the original harassers and that is when all the other stuff happened. Was there a time I talked to others on social media sites? Yes, I talked to a lot of people and made a lot of connections, some good and some bad. I probably did do some stuff wrong; this is me we are talking about. I was taught at an early age self-destruction was okay especially if your abuser told you to do it.

I didn’t want to write about the negative stuff today, but…if you don’t know by now. Of course, the feelings of satisfaction and arrogance forced on me while typing the last statement(saying they were here at that exact time or set up the hat/screen/accessory, skilled I am sure) including intimidation, along with the repeat intersection threat of hitting my car, visits by people harassing me rather directly or indirectly in the stores I go to, and statements made along with long stares from strangers and let’s not forget the clerk who said I will go back to being stupid. The hat/screen/accessory making crude comments while I am trying to ignore them, in an effort to turn up the volume. Let’s not forget the continued voices outside my window. Also, my car alarm going off, and why, because I parked in the first spot so I could bring in two 42 bottled water cases.

I am not okay with being gas lighted. It has gone beyond and into an illegal realm and it has been said before. Yet, because no one stops them, it is okay to continue, but I am the one who lacks self-control. I am the one who doesn’t know how to move on. They like people talking about them. They still won’t come to my face when I can see and hear them at the same time. They know I will call the police and they know they are breaking the law. I am said to be the one supposed to be finding adult activities to do, yet they seem to be the childish ones doing ANYTHING to get attention from someone who doesn’t want anything to do with them mostly because of this type of behavior. Whether then or now. More than one as said it, they lack boundaries.

Not what I wanted to be writing but also know something will happen if I don’t post. I am being threatened and no one cares. We have failed to educate people and in way rightfully so since this is an item that could tear more than a country apart.

I need to try and get some sleep, but I know once I am in that state the hat/screen/accessory currently up will drop, and I will hear the other voices. From there all I can do is see what happens the next day. They gloat (again forced feeling letting me know they are here with me) as I type that making sure I know I am powerless to them. Psychopaths.