Made to feel stressed for not feeling stressed enough

A constant state of starting over. Told I would have to repeat until I did as trained. Treated as an animal. Conditioned and brainwashed. Not for safety reasons, but for selfish and nonconsensual reasons.

Routines made just to break the routine to further terrorize. Making sure it is known they are never leaving and never stopping the conditioning. Privacy invasion, hacking and awakening from sleep just to have you turn around to prove you have been defeated and brain washed. Victimized. Then expected to not want to have them removed by death. Accused that wanting to eliminate the threat isn’t love. The denial that the removal would be love but for society as a whole. Focus needing to be only on the abuser and how they must be loved.

I am taking a class to help with proofreading and writing and haven’t been able to study properly due to the constant interruptions and forcefulness of the people determined to prove they are all powerful and will succeed in my ultimate suicide.

I have heard more about my stalker and how once again it is going around that I am in a marriage or a couple with someone when I am not. I find it funny how people believe what others say without ever asking all parties involved. Whatever proof someone may have. It is a dangerous world and believing everything can be harmful. Accused of being paranoid and distrusting of others when I am responding out of my own personal experience. Asking or making sure to verify no matter who or were the supposed proof of relationship is at. It is this trusting that has me believe they are connected to them themselves.

Still being questioned as I sleep, still being awakened. Still being sleep deprived. Sill being kept from memory and learning. Still be assaulted and abused. Still being confronted at times I can’t see, hear, or defend myself. Still being told how I should feel. Still having thought taken away and told what and how to think. Still having people interfere with my job and not being asked to my face about anything when I am aware. Still being treated as either a child or an animal. Still being slandered. Still having my words taken out of context. Still exhausted.