Deliberate – While forcing feelings of anger; gaslighting
They themselves said they were the big dogs. Threatened me. Referred themselves as hunters. Showed no remorse at the thought of watching someone die. I wonder if they have actually done that.
Then there is that one. The one that thinks I believe everything that is on the internet. Such as not enough sunlight and I must not be able to sleep at night due to that. Not realizing I spent most of my childhood inside and slept a lot and deeply. The one that either thinks I am dead and tells his followers that I am or just wants his followers to believe that he is in total control of everything. The main one over the last few days. Three nights ago, woke me up saying that they wouldn’t stop till I did everything they wanted. Currently with the group that are the big dogs. Both like to force feed.
Apparently, someone pays big bucks for watching someone’s bowels be relieved after they die, first group obviously. The dead’s body can still get acid reflux and ulcers. It isn’t fair that they have one and I don’t. Not sure they want their believers of the dead to know that is part or maybe all of the motivation behind terrorizing me. Desperate it seems that I announce them as being the leader of the dead. Also, a dog. A dog leader of the dead. Also, my stalker for about 20 years. Only they can’t be because they only show up every now and then. I am guessing not aware since he seems determined to follow the early path of my stepfather. Threaten to continue if they remember the things I have done. Unaware, they are the people I make sure to let people know I remember the most. Probably need a lesson in don’t threaten those who don’t look back or you risk being the one to have them turn around, thus by your harassment shoot yourself in the foot. Either way, both like to force feed their victims.
So, as you can see, I have been busy the last few days. As they now say, things will go back to the way they were before. Which brings me to a third. One who wasn’t or hasn’t been connected to my childhood. One who thinks I am the ‘habits’ of when they came in. Currently just sitting in the background. Perhaps, thinking about what I said and wondering. As usual this all started as someone wanting to start a fight. Preempted and instigate the threats to have to write.
Force of sleep so to put in the realm of sleep that is similar to a trance, insert into the subconscious. These are supposed to be adults. They are psychopaths. Followed yesterday and once again talked to by others indirectly. Same events to repeat, at same places. Firstly, to make forget and then to make rehappen. Also, making sure to let me know that they know what slander is, they are not a rookie. Good to know, easier to convict. I aware, your aware, your showing, I’m showing. The constant reminder you have the police on your side, and it is futile to go to them and report what you are and what you have done. The one no one plays with. The one told, not just by me, I don’t play. Yep, been a busy week.
Even now being forced back into a fatigued state due to not taking dictation. They really hate it when I put things in my own words. Even more when I do it and it turns out better than them. Not the case here, but…
I have someone with me now, the one who can’t spell. Seems to be dyslexic and is a part of the group that doesn’t want people to know I am intelligent and am a writer myself. The one that likes to take credit for all my work, well till I do something they don’t want to take the blame for. The one who thinks not being in a hat/accessory/screen makes it okay. Nearby? Your group was just yesterday.
It annoys me that they slow my typing down. Force. I never agreed freely. You know that. Apart of the group who holds people down saying they have removed themselves to show the world and the person that they really are no one without them. As if they are the only person who I have ever experienced a held thought with. I hate that you put yourself in a place of me saying what I hate to say. Very closely to me hating you, which for some self-loathing reason you have a goal of reaching. The holding back of my writing so this dramatic crap gets written and seen. The crazy. So, you all can feel big about yourselves.
Don’t tell me I can’t call the authorities when I never agreed freely and with my own free will. They are fake, lairs, and trickers. Word twisters. Manipulators. Fools enough to believe that these attributes make them the big dogs.
I currently resist. My contacts know this. Kids, they are saying. 20 years of patience. The threat of force coming again with the chance of me having gainful employment that would allow me to move past the past. They like keeping me there. Slanderers.
Build a routine and they come. They can’t control their own urges to not break up a routine.
Someone was being starved for attention. I hate being forced to participate. I don’t hate people. I hate their lack of respect. Lack of boundaries. Lack of knowledge. Lack of willingness to learn from their own mistakes and the lessons around them. The refusal lead by stubbornness to learn something from someone. Accusations of the same being made towards me.
I learn from them every time they show up. Learn more about who they are, their motivations, why they are law breakers and believe they are above the law. Specifications due to the wanting of a sentence alone that merely read I learn from them.
I am still exhausted as the quantity of sleep grows and none of the actual benefits of sleeping occur. Brainwashed and conditioned.
Not to mention the computer hacking done. The WordPress format tampering for not taking dictation. The constant control to force some else’s thoughts and opinions. The tampering with my view of my art. All I can say is scroll on. I don’t care if anyone reads. You aren’t my boss and I never applied for employment with you, not of my own free will.
You must be logged in to post a comment.