Hello to all who are crazy like me. Crazy is as crazy does like stupid from Forest Gump. It has been a while since I have been able to sit down and write something and even now, I think it will be somewhat lacking.
I have spent most of the evening trying to sort out the chaos from living in my car and using my phone to post blogs and poetry. It will be a work in progress as I try to go back over each one correcting all the spelling and grammar errors. I find it funny I sat here for a while trying to relearn the navigation and learn the latest updates for WordPress and am willing to just create a link for all prior blogs but cannot seem to let the proof reading and error correction go for each one. I wanted a much smoother flow of links for the Trouble for a Love Reference and some of the other pages but sorting it all out is going to take a while and I wanted to get an update out to you guys sooner rather than later.
I have obtained a residence. To the whispers of those who say I need to find my own place and insinuate that I just moved in with someone and they must be found, and my hidden and unlawful background revealed to them, I say…seriously. You would spread rumors upon rumors. I once again on my own found and obtained residence…alone…without help…a second time. I think it is funny how people mock my responsibility based off a rumor that I went to my parents for everything. Granted I also must take responsibility for some sarcastic remarks resembling the same. Anyways, why are you in my personal life if you cannot get the facts straight? Drama…I know drama. Looking for fights because your sources are beyond reliable. You will do and believe what you want and that, whispers, is what I say to you.
To my reader…whoever you may be, are here for the truth. I have started to somewhat get settled and organized. It was rough at the start due to reorganizing and sorting items from storage. Even while homeless I was still trying to downsize a bit. Some people think being homeless I would have abandoned all my possessions, but I slowly gave things away as the weeks
passed due to depression. A few times of having to switch storage units due to money not coming in and having to downsize to a smaller unit. It was so hard to get rid of some of the stuff I gave away. I am not someone who just buys anything. I would wait a long time to find exactly what I needed, the design I wanted and to make sure it was something I would use regularly or at least have a useful purpose rather than just sitting and collecting dust. Letting go can be difficult for me due to that and the fact I am a sentimental person. Which is undoubtedly one of the main challenges of living a minimalist lifestyle. Already I am feeling cluttered and still feel in need of reorganizing everything once again.
I was so grateful I was able to get inside before the cold hit again. It would have been my third. Technically two and a half if you want to look at it that way. People go years. Unimaginable. I remember being so appreciative that I still had my car. Of course, I planned on it because I knew there would have been no way for me to survive physically or mentally without further mental and emotional damage without it. What I did go through to get it paid off in comparison to what would have been had I not found a way to purchase it is something I am sure many who do not know my already fragile mental state would say I was being dramatic. There were some who said I needed to sleep on the ground or learn how to walk. You know those people, the ones who listen to rumors or assume they know you. Don’t you know we are all cookie cutter people? If one person wakes up in the morning capable of taking on the entire world and all it holds negative or positive, then we ALL are capable. Society dictates our strengths. Or our neighbor peeking into a glass house whose lights are off. Eh, either way…
Goals. 2024.
I am not really a set-in stone type of girl, which I know is probably the reason for my haphazardness at success, but when it comes down to what really needs to get done my ambition tends to rise. I won’t lie to you and say my mental health has nothing to do with my ambitions. Let us be real and
say we know I am still struggling with the elephant in the room. The subject they do not want me to blog about. The crazy, tired, homeless ramblings under the ‘To Starting Over.’ The dark arts and occult characteristics hidden by those called saints. As I am not yet a sinner but defiantly not a saint, I am someone in need of an advocate and a therapist. Not quite reaching the IQ heights of schizophrenia…my ramblings must stop.
Look, here is the deal. Your neighbor, the quiet one, even the loud one hides things in their closet that will make you cringe or hurl maybe both. We all have a little crazy. I hear voices. Nonspiritual people want me on psych meds. Spiritual people want me to find Jesus, Budda, Krishna, Muhammad something to pray to. Some just want me to admit a truth known to me and them but cannot act on it due to my beliefs about my country and how to try and protect it. Dark and murky. Some say empath, others a mind reader. Context thought processor. A real-life android from the lifeline of Sophia. We have complicated something so simple and why…entertainment, fear, control, sarcasm gone too far. In short, I am a private person and like my privacy and am something or someone who is or was put into a place I do not want to be too open about. Yet…here I am, why…you who are out there…alone…afraid…and confused. I do… you know, I know…if you are not being a pain in the @ss you have one. I think we all are both. I care too much, they tell me. You are the reason I will not stop. They will harass you and try to force you out. The extrovert who does not mind can handle it. The private introvert, stand your ground. They are nosy and disrespectful people for trying to force you out. They have no boundaries or compassion. They are rude. Be strong. We do not all have to KNOW that we KNOW. If they tell you otherwise, they really are just telling you who they are.
Books, books, and more books. One a month at least. And back to blogging. The poetry, we will see. Still have some people with their own opinions. I did come across a USB with old poetry some from high school along with my scanned middle school journal. (mental note: A scanner and A printer, I need them). Anyways, right now I am re-reading a book I did not get to enjoy the
first time. I will see about reporting to you about it. Also, Twitter be gone and ‘X’ in place, my evil plans have been thwarted by m-y e-v-i-l p-l-a-n-s. I will try to get back to social media links soon so my crazy can spread like the virus it has become. I mean I am the main character do not cha know. Seriously though, no small parts just small actors. Really small…coffee anyone?
…okay, but seriously…
With thoughts of going back to regular weekly blogs I will leave you with this:
When planning gets hard remember they have plans on how to plan. Do not forget even the spontaneous can plan with help from a jar, some paper, and a pen. Need a surprise, grab a friend and have them fill your jar. (that could also be a free coaching service you would be receiving, but do not tell them)
theartoflife.space 